


Distance

by junior_writes



Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [2]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: All hurt no comfort, Carry On Countdown 2020, Day 2: Distance, M/M, Minor Angst, Pre-Book 2: Wayward Son, this is my first time writing angst be nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27729415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junior_writes/pseuds/junior_writes
Summary: Day 2: DistanceBaz misses Simon, even though they’re in the same room.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027180
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Distance

**Author's Note:**

> prompt list from [@carryon-countdownc](https://carryon-countdown.tumblr.com/) on tumblr !

I miss him.  
I feel like a terrible boyfriend when I say I miss him.  
There’s no reason for me to miss him. I mean, he’s right here. He’s in the same room as me right now, laying on the sofa with a bottle of cider hanging from his fingers. I’m sitting on the armchair across the room from him, pretending to watch the nonsense show currently playing on the telly.   
I say that I miss him, because, while physically, he’s maybe two meters from me, he feels so far away. When I look at Simon, he feels miles away, and it feels like there’s nothing I can do about. I miss before, when I would physically have to pry him off my lap. I miss when we’d go out and he wouldn’t let my hand go (I can’t even remember the last time we held hands). I miss when he’d smile that sunshine smile at me and ask me about my day at uni.   
Slowly and gradually I watched Simon Snow slip away between my fingers. I watched as he slipped further and further into his shell, as he slipped further away from me.   
It’s not my fault. It’s not his fault, either. Really, it’s no one’s fault. (Well, it is one person’s fault, but there’s no use in pinning the blame on the dead, now is there?) (May he rest in pain)   
I just wish there was a way for me to cross this distance that has come between us. I wish I could just walk up to him, make him sit up, and snog him senseless. I wish I could run my hair through his honey brown locks, that have grown longer in neglect, but are still ever so beautiful. I wish I could look him in his mesmerizing blue eyes and say, “I love you, Simon Snow.” In my deepest, most cherished fantasies, he says it back.  
Simon probably doesn’t even like me anymore. He’s probably realized that I’m a monster and don’t deserve human compassion. Or he’s realized that he is, infact, straight as a flagpole and that he’s made a huge mistake.   
I wish I could erase the distance between us.  
Instead, I sit in this lumpy armchair as I wait for Bunce to come home. I think about how, hopefully, with time and patience, things will get better. I’m not giving up on him. Pitches don’t give up. Someday, in the future, Simon and I will have the life we deserve. Someday we’ll be able to close this distance.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://junior-writes.tumblr.com/) !


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